Things I Think Should Be Rebooted Pt2

Wow, the first one of these was a lot more popular than I was expecting. Well, I guess I'll have to take a page out of Hollywood's book and do another one even if the quality of the previous entry was debatable at best. Before we go into the second list I should clarify what I think of as a reboot: not a continuation. I know I put something like that on my last list, but when I think reboot I think of what was done with Dredd or Casino Royale: completely different casts, possibly new continuity and an entirely new story taking notes from pervious incarnations, but never bouncing off of them. Now that we have the logistics out of the way, let's do this.

Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Even though I don't hate the new incarnation of Whose Line on the CW I'll admit that the revival just doesn't have the same energy as the original. The cast members have all gotten noticeably older and they're targeting a younger audience which leads to a lot less wit and charm and a lot more vulgarity and dated pop-cultural references. So how do we fix it? First, give it back to ABC Family so we can stop trying to make improv hip with the young crowd. Secondly (this is the big one) we replace the entire cast. Yup, get rid of Wayne, Ryan and Colin and hire four completely unknown improv comedians who have been waiting for their shot. Maybe bring back Ryan or Colin to host (God knows those two need SOMETHING to do when that show's not on the air) and go back to the family friendly roots. We need to breathe some new life into this show if it's going to survive.

The Spiderwick Chronicles
I know this might sound like a weird one, but I think there's a lot of potential with this book series. The film tried to stuff the 5 extremely short books into one movie and while it's understandable why they did it left the pacing for the film feeling awkward. I honestly think this could work better as a TV show. However, instead of trying to stretch out the books into one season each I think they should do what Dexter did: take the books, make them one season and then go off and do their own thing, using the universe that the books already crafted as a jumping off point. Imagine the creativity and fun that could gleaned from a world as expansive and creative as Spiderwick. You could even bring in the original author to help expand the types of creatures within the world. Do you guys really want to throw away your shot on what could be the next big fantasy franchise?

The Mortal Instruments
What's ultimately depressing about The Mortal Instruments series is that it actually has a pretty good setup: you've got an out of place teenager who discovers a pretty well explored magical world of demons and monsters and discovers she meant to fight said monsters. You've got an admittedly charismatic bad guy, a mystery involving her mom, a few interesting reveals. Unfortunately, all of that groundwork is unforgivably wasted on a story that reads like Twilight fan fiction, which, if what I've heard is true, isn't that far off from the truth. Refine the story line, make the characters not so melodramatic and give the main character something to do that effects the actual plot of the story!

The Expendables
At first, The Expendables sounds like the best idea ever: take a bunch of 80s action stars and shove them together in a one big action movie. However, the expendables movies so far have just been really boring and the action scenes have been major disappointments. Maybe its because the majority of the cast can't act or because Sylvester Stallone isn't that great of an action director. These can both be changed for the better. My pitch: remove the entire cast and crew and replace them with modern action stars like Hugh Jackman, Jennifer Lawrence, Robert Downey Jr. and so on. The catch in this case, however, would be that they actually take on the personas and abilities of characters that they've played, making it seem more like an ensemble piece with actual characters in it rather than a film where we're supposed to care about these characters because they're played by famous action stars. Also, get some professional action writers and directors to make the movies: George Miller, Shane Black, the Watchowski Brothers, Gareth Edwards, give James Cameron a shot even. This franchise could so well if they just took it a little seriously, so can we do that? Please?

The Entire DCEU
This is purely just personal preference. I don't care for the DCEU movies (though I've heard Wonder Woman might actually be good); I think they're too grim, poorly written and just not very interesting. I have my own ideas about how the DCEU should be, but that's a whole other blog post (which I've actually already written).

The Mask
Now I know what you're thinking: "Who could possibly replace Jim Carrey as the lovable goofball superhero?" However, that's not what we'd be going for with this reboot. Instead, we'd be going back to it's independent comic roots. Yes, The Mask was actually a violent, mean-spirited comic book before it was turned into a comedy. I think characters like Walter and the violently cartoonish antics of this more intense Big Headed Killer would be very interesting, and quite entertaining, to see onscreen.

GI Joe
Even though I kind of liked the Sigma 6 version of GI Joe that they were obviously going for in the live action movies, I will admit that the comics from the 1980s were definitely the best version of this particular property. It had intriguing story lines and the characters were vastly more interesting than they ever were in the movies or any of the shows. I think we should take these comics and directly adapt them into a TV show because a world where the next generation doesn't know what a True American Hero is isn't worth living in.

That was my second list of things I think should be rebooted. Do you have any properties you think deserve a reboot more than these? Whatever they are let me know and check out the rest of my blog for film reviews, media commentary and other fun articles like this one.

The Dude abides.


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